running etc

Another slightly longer run yesterday - 7.6 miles in 1h05, I thought it was going to turn out to be a bit further, so might have to step up the distance a bit next time. I delayed the run until later in the day because the weather was treacherously icy when I got up, but it was actually quite nice to be able to go out when things had warmed up a little.

Overall it's been a nice weekend - been into town to get a few last bits, managed to read some of my book, do a bit of work, have a decent run. One more week to go until Christmas now...

Running

I'm gradually trying to add a bit more distance to my runs again, as I've entered the Cambridge half marathon next March. Quite pleased with today - 7.2 miles in 1h02 (so just under 7mph) and predicting a finish time of 1h55 ish. I'd like to get that a bit lower, but I guess I have to put the miles on first.

Haven't done too much else lately - work has taken up a tremendous amount of time and energy to stay just about on top of things. I'm hoping that's turning back to a more normal workload now, but we'll have to see. I do have a few social things coming up as December comes around, and then after new year I'm hoping to go back to Pune for a week for work.

My brother and I bought a bench as a memorial for our parents in Sudbrooke, and that's just been installed, so I'm pleased to have that done. It will be nice to go up and see it sometime next year.

Long gap

Haven't posted here for a long time, but I guess blogging is so 00's now anyway. I do have a few thoughts for posts just to catch up on things we've done that might be of interest to a few other people.

Interesting to read the last post where I wasn't sure what I wanted out of the year. Honestly it's continued like that right up to now. That's not to say I haven't managed to do anything, but it's been a constant struggle of being up and down.

The thing that's really hung over me, and that's only really just shifted is to get mum and dad's estate wrapped up. However, we have now finally sold the house, so it does feel like that's coming to a close, which is a good feeling, but with quite a strong component of sadness. That has prompted me to have another go through their old photos and family docs to try to get them to some more useable state - I do want to do some family history research at some point. I have quite good family trees on both sides, but I also have a _lot_ of completely unidentified photos. There are some fantastic ones going right back to the late 19th Century, so I would love to be able to put some names to faces in there.

Main "events" of the year so far:

• I had my 40th birthday, which I actually really enjoyed. We had a great party at our house, and so far I'm enjoying being in my 5th decade.
• Went to London with the girls for a few days and saw the sights. We stayed in Greenwich, not so far from where H and I used to live when we were in London. I was going to post on good and bad points from this trip.
• H has been accepted onto her MPhil course at Cambridge university, so that's going to be a bit of an adjustment for us all. The girls have been trying out the after school club during the holidays and they really like it, so hopefully it won't be too much of a shock for them.
• Went up to the Lake District for a week at the end of July. We stayed in Ambleside - weather was really great, and it was a lovely week. Lots of good places to eat in Ambleside itself, and we managed to do some interesting walks and days out. Again, will post some links for that.

That's all for now, will try to write a bit more regularly in the next few weeks.

and into 2011...

I'm struggling to write anything about what I want out of 2011. 2010 was so taken up with sorting out my parents' affairs and then trying to deal with my own response to losing them that I don't really feel like I was able to do anything else for myself last year. If I rewind to how I was feeling at the end of 2009 I think I was struggling with knowing what direction I wanted to go in and so I've emerged from grief into uncertainty again :-)

I kind of hate setting goals and making resolutions but maybe that is what I need to do now. When I think about it I actually do have quite a few things I want to take forward: work projects (which I won't go into here), running (thinking of doing another 1/2 marathon), Tai Chi (I want to try a different class), trying to be a bit more social, learning more about molecular biology, doing a bit of art, finishing off the room in the roof so we can actually move in, selling mum and dad's house (finally), and maybe doing some family history or updating my moribund website.

2010 Valedictory

Christmas was quiet - I finished work a bit earlier than normal as I was feeling a bit run down from my cold. I had a drink with Ian and Clare and then we had Christmas at home as usual. The girls enjoyed getting presents, and I was pleased to see they were both keen to give presents as well, and wanted to put some thought into what they gave each other.

My brother and his family came up a couple of days later so it was good to see them again. L got on well with Megan's children, although i think E felt a bit left out. Graham and Megan's baby liked his dinosaur toy and fortunately they were able to get their car started when they went home (it had been a bit unreliable earlier in the day).

Then we had some people over for E's birthday on the 28th which was good fun. The 30th was the 1st anniversary of mum's death so I felt quite up and down throughout the day (and to be honest, throughout the holidays). I've tried to just give myself space to go out and sit quietly, or walk, but it's hard to just be with the feelings without over-reacting towards or away from them.

Since then I've been doing a few bits round the house - clearing up the garden, fixing the house number back up (taken down when the scaffolding was up), replacing the doorbell, that kind of thing. I'm still avoiding re-painting the bathroom ceiling, but I don't feel so swamped with minor bits to do now, so maybe I'll do that a bit later today.

Wedding Present

I spent most of the final weeks of 2010 being ill with assorted colds and coughs (cough still hasn't quite gone) but I did manage to do a few things, including seeing The Wedding Present at The Junction. They were doing their 20th anniversary tour of Bizarro (I think I saw them at the Corn Exchange in 92) and they did a great set, including a couple of newer songs I hadn't heard before, of which this was my favourite:

I also liked the fact that they introduced the main Bizarro playthrough with a tape loop of John Peel intros - it always brings me up short to hear his voice again, particularly as the Wedding Present era was very much around the time I was listening to his show.

November with a bump

A little catch up while I remember what I've been doing...
We've had a few days off. Last week we drove down to visit H's parents in New Malden. It was good to see them, and the girls always enjoy the visits. H and I went out to Cah Chi in the evening for fantastic Korean food. It's a small restaurant (and you have to bring your own wine) but they do really great food, and they have gas grills on all the tables where they come and cook part of the meal for you.

Saturday I went out for a run and managed to trip over a drain cover. I fell full length and scraped my knees and hands. Check out the horror show at the left.

This week we've walked the Devil's Dyke from Reach, and had lunch at the Dyke's End, which I also thoroughly recommend.

Tomorrow we're thinking about going to Aldeburgh for the day, but it depends on the weather and how organised we are to get out the house. Then Friday it's back to work.

I've also succumbed to technology - I bought a Kindle, and I'm really enjoying it. I read quite a lot of articles on the web, and I've been sending those to the Kindle via email, or using Instapaper. I have also bought a couple of books and it's very slick.

The house is on hold for this week, apart from that we've been choosing paint, carpet and curtains, which has taken a lot longer than I thought it would.

Into Autumn

Time for a quick update I think. Running is going well with the new chi running style. I haven't had any problems so far with the thin shoes which is a real surprise as I used to think that they were essential to keeping me running with good form and absorbing shock. I am definitely using my calf muscles more, but I'm not getting the tightness I was when I first started, although they do start to get tired more quickly than they used to. I haven't had any knee problems so far (touch wood).

The actual disciplines - keep body in a straight line, lift the pelvis, relax legs, lean forward, etc. are quite hard to keep doing consistently. Sometimes it seems to "click" and I can feel the forward lean while my legs almost move of their own accord, but it's very hard to do for any length of time. It's enjoyable though, and it's given me a renewed interest in running. I might see if I can find a coach for a couple of sessions in the new year maybe.

The loft extension is well underway and so far we're on schedule with no major problems. The guys have worked hard when they've been here, and from what I've seen so far (e.g. the way the side wall has been built up to match the existing brickwork) it's been done to an excellent standard. Hopefully they'll be done sometime in mid-October.

What else - thinking about maybe going away again later in the year, but we've left it a bit late now. Maybe I'll take some days off and we'll think again next year. I'm going back to Pune in November, but that's for work rather than any kind of break (although this time I'm going to stay an extra night and hopefully see a bit more of the local area).

We have a senior manager coming into our office tomorrow, so there are going to be lots of presentations, of which I'm giving one. I've got slides and I've run through it today, so I'm not too nervous, but I hope it goes well. Then on Tuesday I'm starting Tai Chi again at the Buddhist Centre, so I'm looking forward to that. Busy week anyway...

More running

I've been reading a bit more about running form - I've read more of Chi Running and Born to Run, and I feel like I have a better idea what I want now. I think barefoot itself is going to be too hard (for most of the time at any rate) so I'm going to try running in much thinner shoes - unfortunately it seems to be extremely hard to get hold of Nike Frees at the moment - even Nike Town only had 7.0s in a size 10. This morning I tried running in my Converse trainers, which worked quite well - I got a much better sense of feedback from the ground, and I ran much more midfoot. I'm currently stopping regularly to try to reset my form based on the ideas in Chi Running, so we'll see how it goes for a few weeks. So far I've not had any knee pain, but my calves are much tighter than normal, which I think shows I'm using them to absorb more energy when I put my foot down.

Barefoot Running

I knew there was something else - I'm trying to gradually convert to barefoot-style running. Well, I say that, I think what I really want is to convert to a lower-impact, less heel-strikey way of running, but I think learning to run barefoot will be a big help. So far I've managed to do five minutes or so on Parker's Piece, which is quite pleasant. I'm waiting for some Nike Frees to arrive, which should let me run on more surfaces without worrying about glass or other small, sharp things.

I've also started reading ChiRunning, which is a lot less woo than the title makes it sound. Basically, it gives techniques to use more of your core muscles while running, but the effect is similar - i.e. you end up leaning forward more, and using your body to lift the legs so you in effect run by controlled falling. But that also brings you more to the front of the foot, so it's quite complementary.

Not sure what's brought it on really - I just read a critical mass of stuff that suggests it's better for you + I think maybe I just need something new to get me interested in running again. I'm almost pleased to discover that the running shops here don't have any lightweight shoes, and give you a funny look if you ask for them. Anyway, we'll see how it goes.

Now, the game's afoot (ah, didn't even mean to make that pun) - it's time for Sherlock on TV.

into August

I've been meaning to update for a while, but just haven't got round to it. We went on holiday to Perranporth in Cornwall, which was great - excellent weather, and it was a really nice spot. The beach was great, the sea was incredibly dramatic, and there were great cliffs and places to run and walk. Only the flat was a bit of a disappointment - it was spacious and well-fitted out, but there was a real smell of damp in the bedrooms. Not much we can do about it in retrospect, but if anyone's reading this I'd be cautious about booking anything in Droskyn Castle with Duchy Holidays.

What else? I went to Lizzie's end of term production of the Tempest at Ridgefield (there are some good pics up on the school website). The end of term marked the retirement of the current head, Ray Doe, so there was a presentation for him (although I was disappointed he didn't decide to ceremonially cast the symbols of his office into the waves as well). Our new head, Anne Morten, starts in September.

I read the new John Crowley novel, Four Freedoms. Not sure what to make of it really. It's beautifully written, and it illuminates a time and a set of experiences that I hadn't thought about before (women and disabled workers at an aeroplane plant in the mid-west during WW2) but I wasn't sure what it added up to at the end. Then on recommendation from people in a MeFi thread, I thought I'd have a go at Caleb Carr's The Alienist. I actually couldn't get through more than a few chapters before giving up on reading a sentence where the protagonist's hair is described as "moist" after he has been out in the rain. "Moist"? Who has moist hair? It should be damp, or wet even. This will seem like excessive pedantry, but it was just the straw that broke the camel's back - the whole book is full of sloppy writing. If anyone wants my copy, they're welcome to it.

After that I seemed to go into a bit of a decline again, leading to feeling pretty awful last weekend. This week I seem to be back to normal again, so it's just one more up and down on the roller-coaster I guess. Next week I have to go up to Lincoln to do a few more things, so that may be a bit tough too.

Fathers Day

I've had an enjoyable day - I took the girls up to the newly re-opened Histon playground, and they made me lovely cards. This afternoon I managed to go out on the bike for a ride out on the towpath up to Baits Bite lock and back via Milton country park (and the Old Spring pub).

Yesterday we went to a party for some friends of ours who are going back to the USA soon. And earlier in the week I met up with a former colleague for an evening out in London, so it's been a pretty good week altogether.

I'm in a strange state at the moment though. I recently re-read Franzen's The Corrections (which I read last year when I was feeling pretty down) and it seemed even more full of correspondences to my own life than it did last time. It's difficult to explain without explaining the whole book, but it's fair to say that the elderly, ill parents, and the children with various forms and manifestations of sadness and anxiety struck a chord in me. And that's why I wanted to read it - I wanted to have something outside myself that would put words onto the grief so I could maybe explain it to myself a bit more. I'd read it again, except I know it will say the same things.

I'm trying to be kind to myself, but I'm not very good at being patient while I go up and down emotionally. I get through a trough and I think it ought to be the last one, like throwing up the last of something that makes you sick, but it doesn't seem to be like that. It's unpredictable - I feel fine one day, and then I'm crying in the car the next. Also, I'm not sure where to draw the line between being kind to myself and indulging myself. I'm tempted to distract myself from grief with treats and that doesn't really seem healthy either.

And I'm impatient to do... something. I'm not sure what, but I feel like I have to make the most of what time I have (the finiteness seems much more immediate now), and here I am just struggling to get through a week or a weekend.

Fortunately it's a short week at work this week and then we're off on holiday. A week away from home will no doubt do me good, and I'm looking forward to seeing Cornwall again.

General catch up

Just wanted to catch up on some of the more mundane things that have been going on. I just finished Gene Wolfe's most recent novel An Evil Guest - I think I have similar mixed feelings about as the reviewers on Amazon. There are lots of interesting parts to it, and it moves at a fair clip, but it never quite gelled into anything consistent for me - it could have been a future noir detective story, but there are too many supernatural elements for that. Perhaps the idea is that the horror elements are meant to be concealed deep within the book, but then those aspects are never fully developed. I hate to say that I've gone off Wolfe, but this is certainly not his best work.

Earlier this weekend I was leafletting for the local LibDem candidate. I saw all the Cambridge candidates at a hustings a couple of weeks ago. I was pretty much going to vote Lib Dem anyway - partly because I like a lot of their policies, partly because they're the only local party that can beat Labour (and much as I thought Daniel Zeichner seemed pretty competent at the hustings, I disagreed with him on pretty much everything). I'm still pretty disappointed at the way the parties are concealing the cuts we're going to need to get out from under the deficit though. That's if there isn't some kind of sovereign debt crisis in the meantime - there was a fantastic Paul Mason post on this the other day.

Before that we were appointing a new head teacher for Ridgefield Primary (where I'm a governor). It was very interesting being on the selection panel, and I was impressed with both the candidates we saw. Obviously I can't say anything about the details, but I'm happy that we made the right choice, and I really think the new head will be able to make a difference to the school.

What else? I just started Tai Chi at the Cambridge Buddhist Centre - only had one session so far, but it was enjoyable (although I need some kind of light weight shoe - my trainers are too heavy, but if I don't wear them my feet get cold and cramp up!) and it's something I really want to get into more.

I shall try to get back into a more regular posting habit again. I can feel various thoughts in the back of my mind but that's enough for now.

Gordon Freestone 1933 - 2010

My dad died last month, not long after my brother and I got him settled into a care home. I miss him, but I don't think I have a lot more to say than that really. I feel like maybe I should, since I posted a long entry about my mum's death at the end of December and it's not like I cared any less for dad than I did for mum. Perhaps it's just too soon and I will come back to it in a few months, or perhaps it's the effect of losing both parents in such a short space of time.

Anyway I wanted to post something so I can get back to "normal" subjects. The big Death post has been hanging over me for too long.

Kathryn Jane Freestone 1947 - 2009

We'd just sung Happy Birthday to my younger daughter when I got a call from my brother to come up to Lincoln as soon as I could. I assumed it was my dad, as he had a stroke a few years ago and hasn't been in the best of health, but instead it turned out my mum had stopped breathing and been taken to the ICU.

She died two days later - too much oxygen starvation, and her body never recovered. So it's been a tough month really: I've been back and forth to Lincoln to help make arrangements for mum, and also to help my brother look after dad, and think about what he's going to do next - we can't look after him in his home, so we've been looking at long term care (I'll do another post later on the intricacies of funding). We're going to visit a home he likes tomorrow, so hopefully that will be sorted fairly soon.

Mum's funeral was yesterday - the crematorium was extremely busy in early January - partly because they close over Christmas, and partly I guess the bad weather increased the number of people dying. It was very well attended by folks from all periods of mum's life - old friends, people from Sudbrooke, people from her old workplace, and friends from the last period of her life looking after dad since his stroke. Several people commented that the service was very good. The celebrant's name was Andrew Key - I would happily recommend him to anyone that wants a civil ceremony. he collection raised over 340 pounds for Arthritis Research and Sue Ryder Care. My brother read a poem - Ducks by Frank W Harvey, which I think mum would have liked.

When God had finished the stars and whirl of coloured suns
He turned His mind from big things to fashion little ones;
Beautiful tiny things (like daisies) He made, and then
He made the comical ones in case the minds of men
Should stiffen and become
Dull, humourless and glum,
And so forgetful of their Maker be
As to take even themselves - quite seriously.
Caterpillars and cats are lively and excellent puns:
All God's jokes are good - even the practical ones!
And as for the duck, 1 think God must have smiled a bit
Seeing those bright eyes blink on the day He fashioned it.
And he's probably laughing still at the sound that came out of its bill!

I'm not sure how I feel really. Sad of course, but not particularly upset. I said goodbye at the hospital, and that was quite gut-wrenching, but perhaps it was all I really needed. It's not that we weren't close, but I feel we both understood each other as adults since I had a family of my own: she gave us her love and approval, and we offered her ours in return. I know she loved H, and H said she was the best mother in law one could hope for. She loved L and E, and was always showing people their photos. I'm glad she got to meet them, even if it was for a fairly short part of their lives.



Goodbye, Mum.

Christmas

Christmas has been good. We've had the snow which the girls really enjoyed - photies up on Facebook if you like that kind of thing. We had hoped to visit my parents the weekend before but the weather put paid to that unfortunately. Hopefully we can go early in the new year.

Broke up from work on the 24th at inbox zero (at least for a few minutes!) and I'm not logging back in for a week. No, really.

Christmas day was nice and relaxing - presents in the morning. The girls got lots. H got me Charlie Brooker's latest book, which I've been reading from the index (mmm Heston Blumenthal what does he have to say about him...) and we managed to get each other a copy of the exact same book: Gustav Dore's London. Basically we watched the Jeremy Paxman series on the Victorians, and both had the same idea what would make a really good present that the other one would never expect! Be warned - this is what happens to you after 10 years together.

Not sure what to make of Christmas Doctor Who. Seems to have had everything thrown into the plot, but I'm not really sure what it all adds up to. The finale is either going to be magnificent or absolute cack.

into December

Finally have the new PC up and running. Mesh completely let me down, and it looks like I may have had a narrow escape: I bought from them because I got my previous (very reliable) PC from them, but when I googled a bit further I found no end of complaints of slow delivery and poor service. That certainly was what I found when I tried to chase up the order, and eventually they tried to tell me that I needed to pay another £50 to get the computer because the spec had changed. Fortunately, I wasn't born yesterday, so I just got a refund instead. I bought a similar spec machine from World of Computers in Milton instead: I had the PC 2 days later, and if it goes wrong they are nearby, and appear to know what they are talking about.

Anyway, it's very nice: I like Win 7, and just generally having a lot more power and memory makes a big difference when using Photoshop for instance.

Other things: my school, Ridgefield Primary, will be looking for a new Head next year, so we as governors have to start planning for the process now: I'm currently drafting the information pack we'll be sending out, while others are looking at the job description and the advert (you have to place a print advert in a national publication, and that basically means the TES). I've also helped the school's IT co-ordinator produce a new website, and he's done a fantastic job.

Friday was H's birthday, but for various reasons we went out for lunch on Saturday instead. We went to Meze on Mill Road and some really nice Turkish food. It was the Winter Fair, so there were lots of people out - we saw the Samba band, but that was about as much as the girls wanted to do (L is a bit under the weather with a cold) so we came home after that.

Next week I may go down to London for work - see how things go.

Oggy and the Cockroaches

The girls love this, and I have to admit I really like the visual humour (or perhaps it just reminds me of Tom and Jerry):

Oggy And The Cockroaches - The most popular videos are here

Staycation?

Not sure I like that term, but it's been a good week all the same - yesterday we went to Anglesey Abbey and walked along by Quy Water in a nice circular route before driving up to Horningsea for lunch at the Crown and Punchbowl.

Today I met up with H in town and we went to Charlie Chan for dim sum, which I've not done before in Cambridge - the last time I had dim sum was in San Francisco over 10 years ago. I also managed to find a Linux magazine with a live CD that I can use to rescue the data from my old Win XP box. I'm hoping the shiny new PC will come soon (please Mesh) and we can get everything transferred. At the moment I'm using my work laptop, which is a bit annoying, as I don't want to start downloading mail or installing non-approved applications.

November holiday

I'm off work for a week and for various reasons we're mostly staying at home and going out for day trips. We had the initial weekend away though - we went down to H's parents, and they kindly looked after the children while H and I went into London for a day out and a night at the Dorset Square Hotel. It was good, but it was expensive too, and there were niggly problems that just took the shine off the experience - notably, no tea and coffee in the room, and room service that weren't up to the job of replacing that facility.

We had a good time though - we saw the Mirsolaw Balka Tate Modern exhibition which looked amazing from the outside, although there were probably too many people to get the full experience when you were inside it. We also had a fantastic meal out at Yming in Soho. The double braised pork in hot pot was amazing.

Back in Cambridge today we went out to Wandlebury Ring, and then drove up to Lammas Land and walked through the botanic garden to Le Gros Franck for lunch. That was very good too - we both had the steak frites, and it was both cheaper and better than Cafe Rouge (yes I know, but we're more often at that end of town, and the childrens' menu is good there).

Just thinking about what to do tomorrow - we may go for another walk somewhere.